I have been very blessed with two very well behaved, kind-hearted, beautiful daughters Gabriela,18 and Madalyn,16. They make being a mom fun and exciting. I am grateful that the girls are best friends and that the three of us are a very tight unit.
Graduation Reflection
Gabi just graduated from high school a few days ago. I have been dealing with a roller-coaster of emotions for I am so very proud of her acceptance in to her first choice of school and excited to see her dreams flourish. I am however a bit emotional at the thought of not having her around the house every day. To no longer know her schedule. To be so disconnected from her daily her life. It’s all so very bittersweet.
I think back to my 17-year-old self and how I couldn’t wait to “leave” and be an adult. To not have to answer to anyone. It’s totally normal for a young adult to want to be free. I think we have all been there. But when you are the parent. Ouch. I not only hurt myself, but my heart hurts for my parents, they are way past that point in their life now, but I think about how they must’ve felt when I moved away. And then when my sister left.
Sure you think about these things as life happens. I recognize that within the next ten years I will more likely be a grandmother than not. I am genuinely excited for the things to come in the future. But that doesn’t make it less heart piercing.
Life is full of so many twists and turns, and I have had many in the last few months. I think emotionally, recognizing that your baby is about to be on their own, there’s not much preparing you can do. A heart feels deeply. And as excited as I am for her adult life to begin, I am equally as sad. Selfishly sad. I will miss her. I will miss being filled in on everything going on in her life. I will miss her messy room. I will miss asking her if she’s ready yet. I will even miss her being late to everything. I will miss waiting up for her. I will miss her smile.
I also have recognized that as hard as it is for me, it’s harder for Madi. Her best friend, her confidant, her travel partner, her co-pilot, the one she’s looked up to since birth isn’t going to be in the adjoining room. She too has so much adjusting going on.
I know am not alone in all of this. I wanted to get my feelings out there and hear yours. Are you going through this? Have you gone through it? Let’s talk about it. I know hearing other stories has helped me feel less alone.
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Wow! My heart aches for yours. I have also experienced all of this.
It is unexplainable how your heart feels. It is something you NEVER want to feel again, however, both you and I Tara, will go through this one more time.
When my daughter actually left home, (1 1/2 hours away), I thought my life would end. The ache was something I would not wish on an enemy. It hurt deeply. Taylor, (and Syderbug, now 13), are my WORLD! How would I make it without a kiss goodnight, or a “mom, bring me some toilet paper!” It was as if I was mourning her, and in a sense, I was. She was no longer a part of my daily routine, or at least at that point in my life I believed that.
They kept telling me that time would heal my heart. It did get easier, but my heart will never be the same. I still miss her today. Taylor is now 22, married to an amazing son-in-love, and living in Raleigh, North Carolina, and I STILL miss her!
Being a mother is not easy, but it is so rewarding. I look at my Tater-Tot today and feel so blessed that she is a great Christian girl with so much life. I am PROUD beyond words and incredibly honored to call her mine, but boy do I miss her. I selfishly want her with me FOREVER, yet I raised her well enough to make someone else love her as much as I do, or almost as much. Boy do I still miss her.
My husband says, “she’s a plane ride away” but I can’t stand the goodbye after the plane ride so I do not take as many plane rides as I should, because that hurt is something that comes back with a vengeance. The feeling again unexplainable!
My life is not over, I have a new beginning. Taylor has brought me into a family that is hard not to love and I “LOVETTE!” Taylor Lovette (her married name) has actually given me new life in her new chapters and life as I once knew it, will never be the same. That part I may mourn, but her new life I celebrate and boy do I still miss her.
I will close in saying that you NEVER stop missing them. They forever own a piece of your heart and I always end my prayers asking God for His hedge of protection over my girls and that they don’t forget to remember me!
As a mom, I know now the sacrifices my mother had to make. You see, I also own of piece of my moms heart. That piece kept it together when Taylor took off with a piece of mine. God knows what he is doing. But boy do I ever miss her.
Congratulations Tara, and a huge congrats to Mad!
This too shall pass. But boy will you miss her!
I wrote this in a very emotional state, I hope it flows and makes sense to you and your followers. IT’S JUST THAT I MISS HER STILL! I must go for now, the other piece of my heart is asking for dinner… I’m coming, Sydney (and this is how you get through it)!